Monthly Archives: July 2007

Back home

It is good to be home.

But it is so crazy hot in this house that I am not sure if I can sleep.

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Time

I wrote something in my journal last night about the time of this week.  Something to the effect of, "time has passed this week in ways that seem disconnected to the clock.  It has passed like a flash and yet it has stood still."

It has been a week! 

Summer intensive is an apt description of this kind of study.  It has been time intensive as well as spiritually intensive.  I am coming out of this week changed.  You may not notice it and then again you may notice it more than I do. 

Becoming a spiritual director…  It is like having a "gut renovation" as one of my classmates put it. 

Now off to morning prayers.  Wonder what room in me God is going to work on today.

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I am tired

Today started off with my presenting /leading the goup in our morning prayer on the theme of my study project of Women and Spirituality.  It represented a big part of the personal journey I have taken this past year.  Good to share.  Lots of feelings of anxiety in getting up to do it.  Amazed at people’s responses to it.

There are times when  God has been present in the preparation, he is there in the moment of presentation and he comes in the form of those around me after.  Or maybe I should say "She" was there – like a mother encouraging her child with her homework.

Anyway, it has been a day of spiritual direction practice.  Some goes easily, other bits seem hard.  Listening really intently for the voice of God is tiring work – especially at the end when we are listening to the instructor sum up how things went.  Sometimes it seems easier to lean into the  parts of me where my gifts lie.  I know that if I do this I need to be un-busy, untired. 

O, life, slow down. 

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So much to learn

Here I am in the middle of the day – university computer.  The course is so rich.  It is good in ways I hadn’t even imagined.  The course stretches me but it is a good stretching and so far it seems like exactly where I should be right now.

It is, by the way, my 37th wedding anniversary today.  What a life Leo and I have spent together.  I do wish I could celebrate with him near, but… that won’t happen this year and seems unlikely to happen again next year  – unless of course he comes down here.  Something we are seriously considering. 

So Happy Anniversary , Honey.  Love you too much to tell here.

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That was a nasty bite!

Last day of work.

Yipee!  Vacation has begun.  I think half my patients today thought I had already left.  They didn’t chance it so stayed away.  No kidding!  50% no shows!

I went by the grocery store on the way home to get some pork chops – the really nice ones.  Thick.  Already seasoned.  Just right for the barbeque.

They were all sold out.  Not to be outdone – and as a result a lot less money spent – I found the thickest ones I could and bought those instead.

They had bones.  My piece had a couple of little slivers of bone on the side where the meat should be.  As I bit into this wonderful piece of meat, there was a tiny crunch.  Yep, you guessed it.  A chunk of tooth was neatly deposited onto the counter where I sat.  The whole lingual cusp of tooth 45.  No pain really.  Except if I touched it directly with my tongue.  Hard not to do when one is eating. 

What to do?  Call  Cheryl Lyn the locum dentist of course.  No answer. 

I am the dentist on call.  I looked to see if this was something I would attempt myself. 

Not with trifocals. 

So I called one of my wonderful assistants.  She was home and came down right away to fix up the boss! 

I owe her big time.  What a way to start vacation.

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One day to go

One more day of work and I will be on vacation. 
 
I hope the day goes by fast. I am really ready for a holiday.
 
Most of my spare moments this week have been spent reading but tonight I went for my annual pedicure and manicure. I just don’t take a whole bunch of time to pamper myself – but I will be on vacation and it seems a good time. The rest of the year my feet are generally inside “closed toe” shoes so no one sees my unmanicured toes. And my hands – they are usually sort of rough from frequent washings and glove wearing so I just keep my nails trimmed good and short. Not that I would get any of those long nails. My hands are still working hands and nails would only be a bother I’m afraid. 
 
I’ve had lots to think about getting ready for the second summer part of my course. I am excited about getting deeper into the realm of spiritual direction – and frightened at the same time. There are parts of the course which will stretch me beyond my comfort zone. But there is still a sense within me that this is right for me to do, some sense that I have to go on. And I want to continue, to get through those scary parts and become someone who can effectively be a spiritual companion to others. 
 
It is strange that even though this feels right to do there is still this tiny voice inside of me that says, “What if they say you are no good at this?” A lack of self confidence is one of the demons I face fairly often. Glad I have supportive family and friends. They have helped me face a lot of challenges and they seem to love me even if I fail when I try.

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No Connection

Access to the internet at my office has been down for about two weeks now.  We had some electrical flikers and after that, no more internet.  We have tried resetting our modem connection with no success.  Our wireless router seems to be working just fine since I can still access the office printer. 

Any suggestions?  The SaskTel people say our modem is working fine but I don’t know.  If so why doesn’t it work?

In a way it has been good for me not to access the internet.  I do tend to spend more time on it than I need to .  When I should be doing other things it becomes a diversion that drwas me away from things I need to do.  I have been returning to my office at night to work there since it forces me to put aside those types of distracctions. 

I am getting things ready for the second summer intensive for the course I am in and working in an air conditionned place with no internet has been just right.  Last night I finished up my preparations for leading one of the prayer services to be held that week.  And I am halfway through the second book I need to read.  Tonight, I will go back over the questions I answered on another book and finish getting that ready.  There seems to me to be more to get ready this time that last year but I think it is just that this year other things have made me busy at the same time as the class preparations have been due.

I may post the liturgy I just finished preparing but I will wait till I lead it – that will just be next week.

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