Weirdness

It is a bit weird around here these days.  I’m back at work so my days are busy.  Then I come home and the house is pretty much empty.  Sara comes home at 5:30 and informs me she is going to her boyfriend’s mother’s birthday supper so won’t be eating.  Leo comes home a bit later and by that time our supper is ready.   

Of course I’ve cooked at least twice as much as I needed to.  My fridge is quickly filling up with leftovers.

Obviously, I am going to have to learn to cook differently. 

Then the evening settles in. I had errands to run last night so was kept busy till about 9.  Then, there seemed as if there was a sort of vacuum in my schedule.  I had no papers to write, no books that I had to read.  No grandchildren dropped by.  I was sort of lost.

Time to rethink that rule of life I worked on a year or so ago.  I don’t want to just drift along through life aimlessly from now on.  And I am not sure that I am quite ready for more serious studies, although there is an itch in there that may drive me to that.

I seem to still find myself in some sort of an in between time – a time of waiting and unsettledness.  Stuff is brewing but it is hard for me to put a name to it – I think I may be afraid to.  I seems that something I feel pushed towards, I am feeling too old to start.  And yet, what does it mean to be too old?  I likely have another 20 years or so of pretty good quality life – although that is never certain. 

So, this stuff is stewing around in my head and heart and I am not sure why.  Weird.  I must be patient and see what comes.

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