I sort of wondered if posting this would just be too much of a revelation of how difficult it is to say good bye this time to these folks. And this in spite of the fact that I know it was right and good for them to go.
Then, I thought, it is where I am right now. I will post it because it is colouring my life right now and so if this blog is about life and how I live it, then this is very much a part of living life for me right now.
It will get better. I hope. No, actually, I know it will. But right now…
Do you find yourself grieving as hard as I am?
How hard is that, you probably ask, and why?
Very hard, it seems. It hurts and tears at my gut
And my eyes, normally dry, are full of tears.
The “why” is easy, my friends have moved away,
Out of my sight, out of my neighborhood.
And when I visit places where they’ve belonged,
I’m flooded with memories that make my heart hurt.
This morning, the place of prayer was empty
‘Cept for me. One friend sick, another gone.
Just God and me, and memories.
So this morning, God heard my tears.
Among my prayers for others,
He listened to laments.
God, the Beloved God that I have learned to seek,
Knows how I feel and hears me.