Someone made a comment about my studies on the weekend and I have been thinking about it all week. Well, I guess that is only 2 days but still it has made me think. I was expressing my relief to having completed two of my courses. His comment was something to the effect of “I don’t think I would study that, especially when you are doing it just for fun.” And then we talked about how, even though I am not studying in the MDiv program with the goal of becoming a full time lead pastor, I need to have a goal such as achieving a degree or I might not really study either. I doubt that I would put as much effort into the classes if I was simply auditing them – for fun.
But it started me rethinking my whole decision to do the MDiv. One thing I am confident of is that the direction I am taking is the result of God moving me in this direction. I do not know where it will lead exactly. I have some idea of areas in which I would like to utilize this pastoral training but nothing is really clear right now. Perhaps there will be some kind of outreach involving women – that is sort of in the back of my mind. And I continue to feel that my gifts will be put to use in some form of spiritual direction ministry. It is just hard sometimes to remember the sense of direction and the affirmation of others who have encouraged me along this way. I need to keep the memory strong of the women who gathered around me to pray with me as I was discerning if this really was for me.
Just some of my thoughts these days. I guess maybe I should correct people who think that these studies are just for fun. But what do I say. that they are not fun? It is all stuff I want to learn after all.
But I am really glad that those two classes are done. Three at one time and working full time – that was crazy!